QuotaBillsLife is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack
Follow the grain in your own wood. - Howard Thurman
There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. - Zig Ziglar
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker
A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck
Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself. - Harrison Ford
I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright
I can look at the knot in a piece of wood until it frightens me. - William Blake
Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg
To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner
The mind is not a vessel that needs filling but wood that needs igniting. - Plutarch
Yesterday is ashes; tomorrow wood. Only today does the fire burn brightly. - Eskimo Proverb
I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip
A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries
The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright
Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher
If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler
I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen
Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown
For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright
I'm always tinkering with something - suddenly I'll think I can work with wood, but then I'll realize I can't, so I go back to sewing. - Melissa McCarthy