#1 humor site on the 'net

Whoop C

Some license plates are worth more than a thousand words

Whoop C thanks to Wayne Nowazek

When stress from the car accident almost equals the message from the license PL8

QuotaBills
Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

I know the guy who writes all those bumper stickers. He hates New York. - Steven Wright

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

Liberty is the right to do what I like; license, the right to do what you like. - Bertrand Russell

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

When you live your life by poor standards, you inflict damage on everyone who crosses your path, especially those you love. - Jordan Belfort

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

It's not what we don't know that hurts us, people say. It's what we believe is true that isn't that does the damage. - Melody Beattie

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman


Clogged Sink

Scuba Diving Sucks

Water Bomber Pilot

Car Paint

Scottish Haircut

The Definition Of Old

Redneck Pool Table

Clint Eastwood

Playing Through

Island Music

Arch Enemies

Firemen's Revenge

Pipeline Security

Gun Exhaust

Canadian Food Chain

Flintstone Drum Set

Bird Cage Illness

Grasping Shirt

Lip Clouds

Key Frame

Texas Office Chair

IKEA Food Size

It's A Cracker

Construction Clouds