#1 humor site on the 'net

Tree Stump Table

Better chop your own tree

Tree Stump Table thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

If you build it, some city slicker will buy it

Custom table designs and classic contemporary country furnishings where you can pay through the nose, inch by inch, for Bubba's Best
QuotaBills
Trees often transplanted seldom prosper. - Flemish Proverb

Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. - Ronald Reagan

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

If you hate where you are, move - you are not a tree. - Unknown

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. - Emma Goldman

The Meathead swooped down on the table like a plague of crocuses. - Archie Bunker

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

It will never rain roses. When we want to have more roses, we must plant more trees. - George Eliot

Trees are not known by their leaves, nor even by their blossoms, but by their fruits. - Eleanor of Aquitaine

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. - Bill Vaughan

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Insight comes, more often than not, from looking at what's been on the table all along. - David McCullough

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

If you reveal your secrets to the wind, don't blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. - Unknown

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

It's better to fall from a tree and break your back than to fall in love and break your heart. - African Proverb

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

It is not hard to compose, but what is fabulously hard is to leave the superfluous notes under the table. - Johannes Brahms

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does. - George Bernard Shaw

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people. - Confucius

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


It's Not My Job

Mathematician's Truck

Redneck Baby Stroller

Redneck Estate Sale

Blonde Car Mirror

Corn Maze Warning

Lane Closure

Texting For Dummies

Clever Weather Billboard

Tree Huggers

Australian Construction Security

India Road Assistance

Cow Walking

Cultural Exchange

Meowzart

Bonus Baby

Strawberry Heart

Water Skiing in Russia

Plumber's Party

Hand Face

Moon Harvest

Reach For The High-Hanging Fruit

CheckMate

Ship Tow