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Texas Womanhood

You're only helpless when your nail polish is wet

Texas Womanhood thanks to Jim Serritella

Down South Lessons in Womanhood

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The lady doth protest too much. - Queen Gertrude

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Woman was God's second mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Well-behaved women seldom make history. - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

Tis brief, my lord... as woman's love. - William Shakespeare

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

As Unto The Bow The Cord Is, So Unto The Man Is Woman - Longfellow

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

Amazing women don't have hot flashes. We have power surges. - Unknown

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. - Honore de Balzac

The testimony of a woman has only half the value of the testimony of a man. - Iranian Penal Code

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. - Oscar Wilde

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

Nothing changes the gender equation more significantly than women's economic freedom. - Gloria Steinem

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. - Robin Williams

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be made at me for saying that. - Mitch Hedberg

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

The fantasy of every Australian man is to have two women - one cleaning and the other dusting. - Maurenn Murphy

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you. - Groucho Marx

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. - Oscar Wilde

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. - Rita Rudner

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. - Woody Allen

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's. - Bernard Shaw

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. - Casey Stengel

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright


Tetris Cake

T-Rex Shadow

Ordnance Table

Wine Bibber

Redneck Wireless Selfie

Tylenol Ban

GoosePrints

Louisiana Potholes

Cheers!

Billy Goat Gruff

Girlfriend Math

Coffee Days

Marathon Runner Tip

Seaweed Burger

Blinker Fluid

Doc In A Box

One At A Time

Life And Beer Are Very Similar

Redneck Speed Bump

Studley Tool Chest

Shopping With Your Husband

PEI Weather

Math Lab Bust

Political Floor