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Texas Womanhood

You're only helpless when your nail polish is wet

Texas Womanhood thanks to Jim Serritella

Down South Lessons in Womanhood

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Women hold up half the sky. - Mao Zedong

Well-behaved women never make history. - Maria Shriver

Women should be obscene and not heard. - Groucho Marx

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns. - Archie Bunker

Women want love to be a novel. Men, a short story. - Daphne du Maurier

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age. - Voltaire

I've been told I'm a role model to many women. - Donald Trump

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

We're women. We have a double standard to live up to. - Ally McBeal

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed. - Henny Youngman

Honesty is probably the sexiest thing a man can give to a woman. - Debra Messing

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

In the future, there will be no female leaders. There will just be leaders. - Sheryl Sandberg

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent. - Erma Bombeck

Beauty is the first present nature gives to a woman and the first it takes away. - Fay Weldon

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men and women are created equal. - Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is usually plain. - Oscar Wilde

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen. - George Bernard Shaw

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

I'm kind of honored to be a dragon lady. The dragon is a very powerful, mythical animal. - Yoko Ono

The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. - Franklin P Adams

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" - Dumas

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back. - Dale Carnegie

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

We women know how to take care of everybody so well. But the one person we have written out of the equation is us. - Suze Orman

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being. - Oscar Wilde

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady, and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. - P.J. O'Rourke

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

The widening of woman's sphere is to improve her lot. Let us do it, and if the world scoff, let it scoff - if it sneer, let it sneer. - Lucy Stone


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