#1 humor site on the 'net

Ruined Day

Someone's day is about to be ruined

Ruined Day thanks to Howard Chapman

Countdown to a warm shower

QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. - Clarence Darrow

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


Trouser Iron

Bathroom Choices

Free Paper Strips

Redneck Bass Tape Measure

Bath Head Protection

Ivy Facade

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Cheating Husband

Stuck On High Gear

Bottom Blast Car Wash

Yo Mama Bin Shopping

Gangsta

Helmet Full Of Hair

Air Conditioner Repair

Redneck Towing

Walking His Fresh Food Pet

Japanese Tea Bath

Redneck Daycare

Hedge Hunter

Pilot Prop Job

Front To Side View

Moses' USB Tablets

Family Photo

Is Laughter The Best Medicine?