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A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown

Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

Sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure. - Oscar Wilde

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson


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