#1 humor site on the 'net

Polite Protest

Are you a little upset?

Polite Protest thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Protest signs for pacifists

QuotaBills
Polite conversation is rarely either. - Fran Lebowitz

Worry gives a small thing a big shadow. - Swedish Proverb

Be polite to all, but intimate with few. - Thomas Jefferson

I've never seen a monument erected to a pessimist. - Paul Harvey

An optimist is simply a pessimist with no job experience. - Dilbert

Of all the things to worry about; the Wookie has no pants. - Mark Hamill

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite. - Winston Churchill

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world. - Lily Tomlin

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back. - Steven Wright

To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have. - Ken S. Keyes Jr.

Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both. - Oscar Wilde

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy. - Leo Buscaglia

I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow. - Roseanne Barr

Pessimists are not boring. Pessimists are right. Pessimists are superfluous. - Elias Canetti

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strength. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don't do something permanently stupid because you're temporarily upset. - Unknown

The dead won't bother you. It's the living you've got to worry about. - John Wayne Gacy

Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its troubles... it empties today of its strength. - Mary Englelbreit

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. - Robert Frost

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

I worry about scientists discovering someday that lettuce has been fattening all along. - Erma Bombeck

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles M. Schulz

Don't worry that your children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. - Robert Fulghum

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

A man of character does not expect to be liked by everyone, nor does he worry about being liked by anyone. - Unknown

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. - Winston Churchill

Then she thought bitterly that it would be much easier to resist chocolate if her life were less stressful. - J K Rowling

150 people die every year from being hit by falling coconuts. Not to worry, drug makers are developing a vaccine. - Jim Carrey

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:34

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right. - Jack Nicholson

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

If only the people who worry about their liabilities would think about the riches they do possess, they would stop worrying. - Dale Carnegie

My Dad once said, "you wouldn't worry so much about what people thought of you if you knew how seldom they did." - Dr. Phil McGraw

Every pessimist who ever lived has been buried in an unmarked grave. Tomorrow has always been better than today, and it always will be. - Paul Harvey

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. - Unknown

To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest. - Joe-kster


Dutch Cowboy

How Bachelors Kill Moths

Tonsil Ring

Portrait Gallery

Piano Dog

The Art Of Politics

Martini Shirt

American Mustache

Wedding Room Dress

Redneck TP

Big Bird Feeder

City Work Crew's Slow Day

Cow Trampoline

Suspicious Blood Donor

Friends In High Places

Hair Cut Toupee

Finger Physio

Texas Steak

Triathlete with a Drinking Problem

Awning Truck Advertising

Racial Profiling Starts Early

Your Move

Florida Bird Flu

Croc Surfing