#1 humor site on the 'net

Pecking Order

Seeing eye bird for blind eagles

Pecking Order thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

When focusing on the job at hand might be difficult

QuotaBills
The early bird catches the worm. - English Proverb

Birds of a feather flock together. - English Proverb

I want to paint the way a bird sings. - Claude Monet

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. - English Proverb

Was there a bird for the souls of people like me? - Ruta Sepetys

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship. - William Blake

A lot of people attack the sea. I make love to it. - Jacques Cousteau

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings. - William Blake

You cannot fly like an eagle with the wings of a wren. - William Henry Hudson

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm gets eaten. - Norman Augustine

I never wanted to weigh more heavily on a man than a bird. - Coco Chanel

Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back. - Paul Erdos

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. - Steven Wright

Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. - Rabindranath Tagore

The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp. - John Berry

If the Eagle Scouts had some sort of Sith equivalent, Marcone was it. - Jim Butcher

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

In order to see birds it is necessary to become a part of the silence. - Robert Lynd

I don't think there's such a thing as unprovoked shark attack. - Peter Benchley

If I ever have to stop taking the subway, I'm gonna have a heart attack. - Edward Norton

We don't believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack. - Marie Ebner Von Eschenbach

Though what bird in the best of circumstances does not look a little stricken? - Lorrie Moore

The structure of a play is always the story of how the birds come home to roost. - Arthur Miller

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song. - Lou Holtz

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will. - Charlotte Bronte

Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind. Listen to the birds. And don't hate nobody. - Eubie Blake

Love is not only the story of butterflies or birds; it is also the story of jackals and hounds. - M.F. Moonzajer

We could not understand that there was anything about a bird that could not be built on a larger scale. - Orville Wright

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards. - Billy Connolly

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. - Steven Wright

The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing. - Eric Berne

The Obama representatives like Robert Gibbs attack people viciously, but people like me will not be silent and will answer them back. - Donald Trump

If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan

The shaft of the arrow had been feathered with one of the eagle's own plumes. We often give our enemies the means of our destruction. - Aesop

The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up. - Jay Leno

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill


Stair Substitute

Alaska Phone Booth

How to Prepare a Man for His Funeral

Crap Flavoured Instant Noodles

Three Cats Ago

Burnt Out Driver

1-800-PILLCASH

2019 Hooters Owl & Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Bike Chaser

Bad Hair Day

Diehard Fans

Word Puzzle Clock

Skateboard Stairs

Quartz Inaccuracy

Graffiti Art

Redneck Wave Runner

Smoked Fish Poacher

Birding Skills 101

Lightweight Dumbbells

Dogs Allowed

Redneck Riding Lawnmower

Two Feet Of Snow

Stretch VW

I'm Here!