#1 humor site on the 'net

Neandertallica

Early musical influences from the real 'Rolling Stones'

Neandertallica thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Library books provide inspiration for history buffs

QuotaBills
Jazz is democracy in music. - Wynton Marsalis

I'm Liberace without a piano. - Paul Lynde

Music describes what words can't. - Unknown

The piano ain't got no wrong notes. - Thelonious Monk

Rock and roll: music for the neck downwards. - Keith Richards

In rock music terms I'm like a dinosaur. - Belinda Carlisle

Music is spiritual. The music business is not. - Van Morrison

Love is not love without a violin playing goat. - Julia Roberts

The earth has its music for those who will listen. - George Santayana

You can't touch music, but music can touch you. - Mordecai

Of all noises, I think music is the least disagreeable. - Samuel Johnson

Dancing can reveal all the mystery that music conceals. - Charles Baudelaire

I don't put boundaries on myself when I sit at the piano. - Vanessa Carlton

Learning music by reading about it is like making love by mail. - Luciano Pavarotti

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. - Unknown

Nothing is capable of being well set to music that is not nonsense. - Joseph Addison

The main thing the public demands of a composer is that he be dead. - Arthur Honegger

Music is the divine way to tell beautiful, poetic things to the heart. - Pablo Casals

Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion

The power of music feels like taking a a nice brake from this busy world. - Millie DeWitt

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

Film is one of the three universal languages, the other two: mathematics and music. - Frank Capra

I'm a producer for fun. I'm not a professional schooled musician or anything. - Afrojack

If you're in jazz and more than ten people like you, you're labeled commercial. - Herbie Mann

My father had a piano that was a nickelodeon - put a nickel, and the roller would play. - Frank Sinatra

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano. - Bob Hope

Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it. - John Lennon

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

It is simply my life, music. I live it, breathe it, talk with it. I am almost unconscious of it. - Arthur Rubinstein

Give me a guitar, give me a piano, give me a broom and string, I wouldn't get bored anywhere. - Keith Richards

If one plays good music, people don't listen and if one plays bad music people don't talk. - Oscar Wilde

Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. - Plato

A hundred years from now, people will listen to the music of the Beatles the same way we listen to Mozart. - Paul McCartney

He is a rarity which I cannot but be fond of, as one would be of a hog that could fiddle, or a singing owl. - John W. Rochester

Melody is the essence of music. I compare a good melodist to a fine racer, and counterpoints to hack post-horses. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular? - David Sarnoff

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation. - Oscar Wilde

Music is the great uniter. An incredible force. Something that people who differ on everything and anything else can have in common. - Sarah Dessen

When I was nine, my father said 'You can take piano lessons or do karate' - I had a black belt and was competing before I was 19. - Elodie Yung

I love power. But it is as an artist that I love it. I love it as a musician loves his violin, to draw out its sounds and chords and harmonies. - Napoleon Bonaparte


Waffle Board

Stairway Repair

Cowboy Bubble Bath

Trunk Load

Centennial Puff

Don't Be A Stick In The Mud

Redneck Hitch Attachment

Texas Rims

Window Fall Repair

Louvre Paintings

Parking Spot For Women

Generations Past And Present

Jumping The Gun

New Speed Trap

Window Cleaning in New York

Welcome Beer Mat

Mr. Dressup II

Puppy Special

Breast Cancer Cure

Who Needs Physics?

Bach Scratching

OCD Cookie Jar

Dwarf Plane Pull

Fire Truck