#1 humor site on the 'net

LippoPotumus

Lip gloss to bring out the animal in you

LippoPotumus thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Hippo Lippo art illusion

QuotaBills
No pressure, no diamonds. - Mary Case

Read my lips: no new taxes. - George Bush

Big girls need big diamonds. - Elizabeth Taylor

It ain't exactly the Pope diamond. - Archie Bunker

If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

I could not get the ring without the finger. - Thomas Middleton

Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without. - Confucius

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy. - Ernest Hemingway

Character is a diamond that scratches every other stone. - Cyrus A. Bartol

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I think "Hail to the Chief" has a nice ring to it. - John F Kennedy

It is better to have old second-hand diamonds than none at all. - Mark Twain

The sage wears rough clothing and holds the jewel in his heart. - Lao-Tzu

Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes

I do not want horses or diamonds - I am happy in possessing you. - Clara Schumann

A gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself. - Mae West

A diamond with a flaw is better than a common stone that is perfect. - Chinese Proverb

Proverbs are mental gems gathered in the diamond districts of the mind. - William R. Alger

Contentment, like a flawless diamond, is a valuable and scarce commodity. - Dennis Rainey

Life without endeavor is like entering a jewel mine and coming out with empty hands. - Japanese Proverb

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Of all sound of all bells... most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year. - Charles Lamb

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

Beware of those who would pay you lip service but refuse to put their money where their mouths are. - Faydra D. Fields

Don't depend on anyone else to toot your horn. I mean, do you really want their lips on it, anyway? - Faydra D. Fields

Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong. - Muhammad Ali

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

The only way we can ever teach a child to say "I'm sorry" is for him to hear it from our lips first. - Kevin Leman

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

I think hearts are very much like glasses - if they do not break with the first ring, they usually last a considerable time. - Letitia Landon

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure. - Peter Marshall

In this year, King Aethelstan, Lord of Warriors, ring-giver to men... won eternal glory, in battle with sword edges, around Brunaburh. - Unknown

With so much to be aware of, awareness bracelets have reverted to signifying nothing more than color itself. Idealism has devolved into fashion. - Timothy Noah

I formed a new group called Alcoholics-Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you. - Richard Harris

If I could be anything in the world I would want to be a teardrop because I would be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips. - Unknown


Yo Mama Bin Shopping

Gangsta

Helmet Full Of Hair

Air Conditioner Repair

Redneck Towing

Walking His Fresh Food Pet

Japanese Tea Bath

Redneck Daycare

Hedge Hunter

Pilot Prop Job

Front To Side View

Moses' USB Tablets

Family Photo

Is Laughter The Best Medicine?

Plastered Wall Plasterer

Waffle Board

Stairway Repair

Cowboy Bubble Bath

Trunk Load

Centennial Puff

Don't Be A Stick In The Mud

Redneck Hitch Attachment

Texas Rims

Window Fall Repair