#1 humor site on the 'net

Historic Texting

Re-invented moments in history

Historic Texting thanks to Keith Blake

4 calls and 7 texts ago ...

QuotaBills
History is more or less bunk. - Henry Ford

Well-behaved women never make history. - Maria Shriver

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman. - Virginia Woolf

Difficulty is the excuse history never accepts. - Edward R. Murrow

I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel

If you think you have it tough, read history books. - Bill Maher

Acting is standing up naked and turning around slowly. - Rosalind Russell

U.S. history - that's part of your whole American heresy. - Archie Bunker

Study history. In history lies all the secrets of statecraft. - Winston Churchill

A people without history is like the wind on the buffalo grass. - Lakota Sioux Proverb

History never looks like history when you are living through it. - John W. Gardner

It takes a great deal of history to produce a little literature. - Henry James

It is the soothing thing about history that it does repeat itself. - Gertrude Stein

If it’s the Psychic Network, why do they need a phone number? - Robin Williams

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past. - Thomas Jefferson

It takes an endless amount of history to make even a little tradition. - Henry James

We would like to live as we once lived, but history will not permit it. - John F Kennedy

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

We live in a world where amnesia is the most wished-for state. When did history become a bad word? - John Guare

E-mails are letters, after all, more lasting than phone calls, even if many of them r 2 cursory 4 u. - Anna Quindlen

In the whole history of technology it would be difficult to find a greater single advance than this. - L.T.C. Rolt

The only way you can sustain a permanent change is to create a new way of thinking, acting, and being. - Jennifer Hudson

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present. - Bil Keane

You learn how to be book smart in school, but you better not forget that you also need to be street smart. - Harvey Mackay

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say. - Will Durant

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

How many ideas have there been in the history of the human race that were unthinkable ten years before they appeared? - Fyodor Dostoevsky

The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything. - Robert Frost

There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

Self-consciousness is the enemy of all art, be it acting, writing, painting, or living itself, which is the greatest art of all. - Ray Bradbury

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

The shoulders I stand on are broad and strong, full of history and courage and love. How about you? Whose shoulders are you standing on? - Molly Johnson

He's ... probably the greatest corporate leader in the history of a major company... Somebody like that would be absolutely incredible. - Donald Trump

A man who is used to acting in one way never changes; he must come to ruin when the times, in changing, no longer are in harmony with his ways. - Niccolo Machiavelli

I know of no other man in our time, or indeed in recent history, who so convincingly demonstrated the power of the spirit over material things. - Stafford Cripps

There is only one history of any importance, and it is the history of what you once believed in, and the history of what you came to believe in. - Kay Boyle


Tick, Tick Good Buddy

Waterfront Icons

Redneck Backhoe Operator

Shanty Town, New Zealand - Potty Pic

Modern Love Affair

Sleepmobile

Osoyoos Sasquatch

Wal-Mart Job Application

Wired Cars

Limit Of Two

Facebook Red Light

Suspended Bedroom

Boss Bird

Static Cat

Matching Receipt

Graffiti Removing Graffiti

How To Make Holy Water

Anti-Theft Car Device

2019 Hooters Owl & Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Can You See It?

Bird Chocolate

Keyboard Seating

Griller Bees

Dock Giraffe