#1 humor site on the 'net

Here Comes Another One

Stork delivery from above

Here Comes Another One thanks to Wayne Nowazek

How to announce the arrival of your new baby

QuotaBills
Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

The stork is voiceless because there is really nothing to say. - Will Cuppy

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik


Alligator Ice

Dog Walker

Shanghai's Fullen Restaurant

Watts Wrong?

Beach Farmer

Facebook Wedding

Redneck Stealth Bomber

Lunch Anyone?

Coupon for Free Ride

How To Make A Deer Stand

Weather Forecast Toaster

Top-Heavy Truck with Afro Haircut

Hubcap Shine

Wooden Owl

One Way Repairs

Polar Breath

Nice Try, China

Enough Art Supplies

Earth Day Memories

Italian Fire Exit

Scottish Lawnmower

Self Confidence

Wrong On So Many Levels

Reflection