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Family Planning Advice

Care in rearing the young

Family Planning Advice thanks to Barry McCartney

Hospital-recommended entrance plan

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Caring is the essence of nursing. - Jean Watson

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Jung

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

An asylum for the sane would be empty in America. - George Bernard Shaw

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Misuse of "Literally" makes me figuratively insane. - Unknown

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

A murderer is one who is presumed to be innocent until proven insane. - Unknown

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


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