#1 humor site on the 'net

Closing Time

But your store must be open now!

Closing Time thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Hours of Operation

QuotaBills
Music is spiritual. The music business is not. - Van Morrison

Politics is just show business for ugly people. - Jay Leno

The purpose of a business is to create a customer. - Peter F Drucker

I'm not a businessman. I'm a business, man. - Jay-Z

I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

The speed of the leader determines the rate of the pack. - Wayne Lukas

Leadership does not always wear the harness of compromise. - Woodrow Wilson

I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse. - WC Fields

Boldness in business is the first, second, and third thing. - Thomas Fuller

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. - Dave Barry

It's a terrible shame that politics has become show business. - Sydney Pollack

The art of leadership is saying no, not yes. It is very easy to say yes. - Tony Blair

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

In the business sector, conflict and self-interest is most highly focused. - Unknown

The number one disease of business leaders in North America is procrastination. - Napoleon Hill

All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it. - Samuel Butler

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself. - Will Rogers

You do not lead by hitting people over the head; that is assault, not leadership. - Dwight D Eisenhower

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

Make it thy business to know thyself, which is the most difficult lesson in the world. - Sir William Temple

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

Talking business disgusts me. If you want to talk business, call my disgusting personal manager. - Sylvester Stallone

No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination: never put off until tomorrow what you can do today. - Lord Chesterfield

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

It's our experience that political leaders don't always mean the opposite of what they say. - Abba Eban

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there. - Colonel Harland Sanders

Leadership is getting someone to do what they don't want to do, to achieve what they want to achieve. - Tom Landry

By my count, more business leaders have failed and derailed because of arrogance than any other character flaw. - Harvey Mackay

The business of government is to keep the government out of business - that is, unless business needs government aid. - Will Rogers

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy. - Kin Hubbard

The difference between being a manager and being a leader is that managers understand staff and leaders understand people. - Peter Legge

It is very vulgar to talk about one's business. Only people like stockbrokers do that, and then merely at dinner parties. - Oscar Wilde

Good business leaders create a vision, articulate the vision, passionately own the vision, and relentlessly drive it to completion. - Jack Welch

Waiting to develop courage is just another form of procrastination. The most successful people take action while they’re afraid! - Unknown

A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don't necessarily want to go, but ought to be. - Rosalyn Carter

He's ... probably the greatest corporate leader in the history of a major company... Somebody like that would be absolutely incredible. - Donald Trump

Integrity will take a leader farther than any other quality. If you would travel far and do much as a leader, never compromise your integrity. - John C Maxwell

You can close more business in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you. - Dale Carnegie


Cow Trampoline

Suspicious Blood Donor

Friends In High Places

Hair Cut Toupee

Finger Physio

Texas Steak

Triathlete with a Drinking Problem

Awning Truck Advertising

Racial Profiling Starts Early

Your Move

Florida Bird Flu

Croc Surfing

Zip Tie Prank

Ukrainian Power Adaptor

World's Hardest Golf Shot

India Airlines Economy Flight

Downspout Planters

Camel Walkers

Head Path

Whiskey Jig

Running Track

Body Bodice - Double OUCH!!!

DogWood

Feel-Good Story of the Year