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Car Jump

Dude, I'm positive you can make that jump

Car Jump thanks to Keith Blake

When Evel Knievel changed his name to Awful Knawfull

QuotaBills
Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

A roof stretching over the Atlantic Ocean. - Ernest Bevin

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

Germany is a fortress, but it is a fortress without a roof. - Franklin D Roosevelt

This is one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind. - Neil Armstrong

I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

I hope it will be hard for the Russians to jump across that creek. - Gustavus Adolphus

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

It doesn't work to leap a twenty-foot chasm in two ten-foot jumps. - Proverb

The harpsichord sounds like two skeletons copulating on a corrugated roof. - Thomas Beecham

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

I don't look to jump over 7-foot bars. I look around for 1-foot bars that I can step over. - Warren Buffet

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

She ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!" - Red Skelton

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

If a train is coming at you, closing your eyes won't save you... but if you look right at it, you at least have a chance to jump. - Andrew Vachss

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground. - Jarod Kintz

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

Five frogs are sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off. How many are left?
Five, because there's a difference between deciding and doing. - Mark L. Feldman & Michael F. Spratt


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