# Calculus Drinks

## Mathematicians don't drink and derive at the same time

Restaurant bar lounge for college math professors

Drinking it all it, one equation at a time
QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

I am a great fan of science, but I cannot do a quadratic equation. - Terry Pratchett

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales. - Stephen Hawking

To be safe at the expense of the liberty of other people is a difficult equation. - Madeleine Albright

If you took love out of the equation, I wouldn't know what else to write about. - Nick Cave

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

Nothing changes the gender equation more significantly than women's economic freedom. - Gloria Steinem

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

You can't be afraid of getting old. Old is good, if you're gathering in life. Our band is good at understanding that equation. - Bruce Springsteen

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

Charity is a very personal equation, like we say charity begins at home. It starts with your immediate help in the house: the people who work for you. - Malaika A. Khan

Stereo Bike

Yoga in Palm Springs

Bartender Spill

Tetris Logger

Pigging Out in El Paso

Foot Care

Guitar Dog

Cutout Coin Silhouettes

Tree Tattoo

Alt-Ctrl-Del Pillows

Portable GPS

Australian Cyclist

Helicopter Cuts

Holland Bike Lane - For Pros Only

Twins' First Piano Lesson

Foosball for Girls

Youth Walk

Last Selfie

Broccoli Muffins

Get Along Shirt

Rooftop Steps

It's Not My Job

Mathematician's Truck

Redneck Baby Stroller