#1 humor site on the 'net

Burger Sale

Sign of a hungry, illiterate employee

Burger Sale thanks to Grant Fuller

How often does your grill go down?

QuotaBills
You cannot unsay a cruel word. - Unknown

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham

I often quote myself, it adds spice to my conversation. - George Bernard Shaw

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker

I have learned to use the word impossible with the greatest caution. - Wernher von Braun

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

Our waking hours form the text of our lives, our dreams, the commentary. - Unknown

Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, "I'm possible"! - Audrey Hepburn

As we must account for every idle word, so we must for every idle silence. - Benjamin Franklin

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

Virus: a Latin word used by doctors to mean, "Your guess is as good as mine." - Unknown

When I go from hence, let this be my parting word, that what I have seen is unsurpassable. - Rabindranath Tagore

It was ability that mattered, not disability, which is a word I'm not crazy about using. - Marlee Matlin

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

More contact means more sharing of information, gossiping, exchanging, engaging - in short, more word of mouth. - Gary Vaynerchuk

I'll tell you, it's Big Business. If there is one word to describe Atlantic City, it's Big Business. - Donald Trump

A dinosaur out of context is like a character without a story. Worse than that, the character suffers from amnesia. - Jack Horner

This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw

The difference between the right word and almost the right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug. - Mark Twain

Often we can help each other most by leaving each other alone; at other times we need the hand-grasp and the word of cheer. - Elbert Hubbard

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

I can remember a reporter asking me for a quote, and I didn't know what a quote was. I thought it was some kind of a soft drink. - Joe DiMaggio

When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? - Bible

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton


How To Argue With A Woman

Patio Losers

Wings Fans Are Ruthless

Temple Car

Netherlands Parking Lot

Model T Snowmobile

Tulip Snowpath

New Audi

Tower of Hammocks

Family Birthday Reminder

Dead Batteries

Ostrich Bush

Tetris Cake

T-Rex Shadow

Ordnance Table

Wine Bibber

Redneck Wireless Selfie

Tylenol Ban

GoosePrints

Louisiana Potholes

Cheers!

Billy Goat Gruff

Girlfriend Math

Coffee Days