#1 humor site on the 'net

Birth Control Kit

Guaranteed to work or double your offspring back

Birth Control Kit thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Bubba's basics for pregnancy prevention

Available with plug and play options

QuotaBills
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Laughter is the best medicine. - the Joe-kster

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. - Haruki Murakami

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

Suicide doesn't end the pain. It just passes it on to someone else. - James Kirkup

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea. - Pearl S. Buck

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer


Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes

Prayer Conditioning

Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers

Spaghetti Western

Under The Weather

Backpack Barney

My Sweet Potato

Who Needs a Guard Dog?

My Next Life

Mouse Insider

Close Ups

Redneck Camera Phone

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Redneck Cupboard