#1 humor site on the 'net

Animal Rings

Close inspection of tree rings reveals animal traits

Animal Rings thanks to Keith Blake

Tree surgeon at work

Aging peeled back one layer at a time

QuotaBills
PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals - Unknown

Growth is the only evidence of life. - John Henry Newman

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? - George Carlin

Trees often transplanted seldom prosper. - Flemish Proverb

My music is best understood by children and animals. - Igor Stravinsky

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit. - Moliere

All change is not growth; all movement is not forward. - Ellen Glasgow

The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice. - George Eliot

He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato

The best thing about animals is that they don't talk much. - Thornton Wilder

Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell. - Edward Abbey

Ambition is the germ from which all growth of nobleness proceeds. - Oscar Wilde

The spirit of self-help is the root of all genuine growth in the individual. - Samuel Smiles

There's a good animal show on with that kindly old gent, Marlons Perkos. - Archie Bunker

Death is just a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees. - J.J. Furnas

I'm definitely an animal lover, and I stand up for all animals' rights. - Laura Mennell

The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock

It will never rain roses. When we want to have more roses, we must plant more trees. - George Eliot

Often, the human animal dresses terror in rage, and expresses both in a way unlike either. - Julius Lester

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. - Bill Vaughan

I'm kind of honored to be a dragon lady. The dragon is a very powerful, mythical animal. - Yoko Ono

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

The key to growth is the introduction of higher dimensions of consciousness into our awareness. - Lao Tzu

All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous, unpremeditated act without benefit of experience. - Henry Miller

I like cookies, any cookie you put in front of me - animal cookies, sugar cookies, anything crunchy. - Maria Shriver

I was readin' an article about the animal population - there's millions of pets explodin'. - Archie Bunker

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel. - Homer Simpson

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. - John Muir

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians. - Henrik Ibsen

There are a zillion variables to a hamburger. What part of the animal went into it. What coarseness. What temperature. - Danny Meyer

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason. - Oscar Wilde

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

The very things we wish to avoid, neglect and flee from turn out to be the 'prima materia' from which all real growth comes. - Andrew Harvey

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Man is the only animal who enjoys the consolation of believing in a next life; all other animals enjoy the consolation of not worrying about it. - Robert Brault

I love to go to the zoo. But not on Sunday. I don't like to see the people making fun of the animals, when it should be the other way around. - Ernest Hemingway


Taco Emergency

Stairway Roots

Meals On Wheels

Transmission Line Parallel Bars

Worst Aid

Mexican Recliners

Size Matters

Leadership Skills

Bottom Dweller

Gene Lifeguard

Portable Shower

Cut-Off Deadline

Kid Disposal

Racing a 'Hot Rod'

Why Elk Have Long Antlers

Biting Shoes

Romanian Auto Safety

New Player

Hoser

Garden Gnome

Hotel Waterfall

Security Guard

Real FootBall

Burger King Street