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Almost Floats On Water

Sinking feeling with your TV remote

Almost Floats On Water thanks to Barry McCartney

Maybe it would float on the Dead Sea

QuotaBills
Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

Friendship is a plant we must often water. - German Proverb

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. - Leo Rosten

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? - James Thurber

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Shells sink,
Dreams float,
Life's good
On our boat. - Jimmy Buffet

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said. - Peter F Drucker

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink. - Shunryi Suzuki-roshi

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

If we tried to sink the past beneath our feet, be sure the future would not stand it. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I like the map feature on the iPhone that tells me where I am, because I travel a lot. - Gary Shteyngart

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

E-mails are letters, after all, more lasting than phone calls, even if many of them r 2 cursory 4 u. - Anna Quindlen

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Carry your courage in an easily accessible place, the way you do your cellphone or your wallet. Courage is the ultimate career move. - Anna Quindlen

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Somewhere beyond the sink-hole, past the magnolia, under the live oaks, a boy and a yearling ran side by side, and were gone forever. - Marjorie K. Rawlings

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers


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