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Texas 911

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Texas 911 thanks to joe-kster

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Texas 911 thanks to joe-kster

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Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

You can always tell a Texan, but not much. - Unknown

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

Guns don't kill people. Dads with pretty daughters kill people. - Unknown

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. - Al Capone

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher


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