#1 humor site on the 'net

Ship Tow

Longshoremen in India know how to tow the line

Ship Tow thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

The tough part comes when they unload the ship

QuotaBills
You're gonna need a bigger boat. - Jaws

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Nodding the head does not row the boat. - Unknown

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

Inspiration and genius - one and the same. - Victor Hugo

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

Tell the men to fire faster and not give up the ship. - Captain James Lawrence

Spinnin' a rope is fun if your neck ain't in it. - Will Rogers

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

No one was ever great without some portion of divine inspiration. - Cicero

I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship. - Louisa May Alcott

A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for. - John Shedd

When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on. - Thomas Jefferson

Shells sink,
Dreams float,
Life's good
On our boat. - Jimmy Buffet

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. - Thomas Edison

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

Whatever happens, abide steadfast in a determination to cling simply to God. - Francis de Sales

Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink. - Shunryi Suzuki-roshi

Enthusiasm is excitement with inspiration, motivation, and a pinch of creativity. - Bo Bennett

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

The common traits among all successful people are desire, determination and confidence. - Joe Segal

The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man's determination. - Tommy Lasorda

A failure establishes only this, that our determination to succeed was not strong enough. - John C Bovee

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

We are imprisoned in the realm of life, like a sailor on his tiny boat, on an infinite ocean. - Anna Freud

Those who have one foot in the canoe and one foot in the boat are going to fall into the river. - Tuscarora Proverb

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

Never marvel at the strength of a man's words, but rather by the determination and truthfulness of his actions. - Unknown

Your belief in yourself and your company and your place in the world may be the main determination of your success. - Tom Butler-Bowdon

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

Without inspiration the best powers of the mind remain dormant. There is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks. - Johann Gottfried Von Herder

There's a limit to how many times you can read how great you are and what an inspiration you are, but I'm not there yet. - Randy Pausch

He who loves practice without theory is like the sailor who boards ship without a rudder and compass and never knows where he may cast. - Leonardo da Vinci

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins


Definition Of A Good Friend

Redneck Car Repair

Self-Propelled Rocket

Pole Clock

Donut Holes

Insect Food Fight

Living At C Level

Little Johnny Bath

Emergency Stops Only

Portable Balance Beam

Fried Eggs - Military Style

Motorvation

Teenage Mutant Ninja Hay Bail

Driving Rain

Eddie Reward

Got Them All

Owlvis Presley

Motorcycle Limo

Runaway Tree

Human Explosion

Air Force Pilots

See You Later

Lunch Admirers

Loo View