#1 humor site on the 'net

Ruined Bacon

Green cuisine evens out calory count

Ruined Bacon thanks to Howard Chapman

Bubba's fancy food presentation attracts hecklers

QuotaBills
Zombies hate fast food. - Unknown

Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

Life is short. Eat cookies for breakfast. - Unknown

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

Bacon: the main reason you are not a vegetarian. - Unknown

Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper. - Sir Francis Bacon

If it's not chocolate, it's not breakfast. - Laini Taylor

I have a great relationship with the Mexican people. - Donald Trump

Mmmm, pork chops and bacon... my two favorite animals. - Homer Simpson

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

I often take exercise. Only yesterday I had breakfast in bed. - Oscar Wilde

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

Even apocalypse looks less dire when viewed over a plate of bacon. - Stephanie Stamm

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer

Bacon's not the only thing that's cured by hanging from a string. - Hugh Kingsmill

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

I am guilty of asking the Senate for pork and proud of the Senate for giving it to me. - Ted Stevens

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence. Eat bacon. - Unknown

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

Special day! Oh, what have I forgotten now? Now, don't panic. Is it Bacon Day? No, that’s crazy talk! - Homer

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. The quality of your business is no different. - Harvey Mackay

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people. - Axl Rose

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Anail Retention

Bat Flight

The No Brainer

Truck Bender

Bacon Balls

Fast Closure

Ukrainian Feast

1934 Modern Home

Fliptus

Copper Tubing Specialist

Bach Off Van

Boss Resume

Canadian Gun Shop

Hogwart's Other Bridge

Excalibutter

As The World Turns

Bird Condo

Legal Assistance For All

Chinese Law School

Do Not Stack

Stairway Chute

Walkway Not

Pirate Vacation

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane