#1 humor site on the 'net

New Generation Priorities

Mommy - this app doesn't tell me when to let go!

New Generation Priorities thanks to Jim Serritella

Computer basics: learning to use the iPotty

QuotaBills
I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. - Mark Twain

Time is a game played beautifully by children. - Heraclitus

Inspiration fires you up; motivation keeps you burning. - Stuart Aken

A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer. - Unknown

If our American way of life fails the child, it fails us all. - Pearl S. Buck

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

Children are one third of our population and all of our future. - Unknown

Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed. - Maria Montessori

The important things are children, honesty, integrity and faith. - Andy Williams

I'm contributing to the, waddya call, on the loosincy of a child. - Archie Bunker

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man. - Rabindranath Tagore

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. - Victor Hugo

A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. - Unknown

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million. - Walt Streightiff

Children are not a distraction for more important work. They are the most important work. - C S Lewis

It's not that age brings childhood back again. Age merely shows what children we remain. - Goethe

The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children. - Unknown

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about. - Angela Schwindt

It's triple the Trump this season... I invited my children, Don Jr. and Ivanka into the boardroom. - Donald Trump

A man who gives his children habits of industry provides for them better than by giving them a fortune. - Richard Whately

If a child, a spouse, a life partner, or a parent depends on you and your income, you need life insurance. - Suze Orman

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

Whatever happened to a sense of idealism and embracing an idea that will help people and, in this case, children? - Rod Blagojevich

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Everything here is edible; even I'm edible. But that, dear children, is cannibalism, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. - Johnny Depp

The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about. - Evan Esar

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren


Topless Kate Middleton

Skype Hype

Almost Batman

Cadillac Bike

Donut Decadence

Manmade Beach in Japan

Bacon Bikes

Animal Taxi

Lego Key Holder

Mechanic Apprentice

Redneck Helicopter

Hairy Egg

Fork Door Handle

Making Hockey More Popular

Suitcase WorkPlace

One-Knight Stands

Stealth Cell Phone Tower

Holes of the World

Sunken Bed

Australian Wildfire Survivor

Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders