#1 humor site on the 'net

Mommy's Diet

Some families find it difficult to survive diets

Mommy's Diet thanks to Mike King

Choosing a healthy diet plan for Mom

QuotaBills
Mother Superiority - Archie Bunker

Mother is a verb, not a noun. - Shonda Rhimes

Leisure is the Mother of Philosophy. - Thomas Hobbes

Necessity is the mother of attraction. - Luke McKissack

Getting caught is the mother of invention. - Robert Byrne

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

A mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled. - Emily Dickinson

The titular head... that's the mother, ain't it? - Archie Bunker

Blaming mother is just a negative way of clinging to her still. - Nancy Friday

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? - George Carlin

It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it. - Dorothy

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother. - Beverly Jones

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy Fisher

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. - Marion C. Garretty

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed - I never knew they worked. - Les Dawson

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. - Erma Bombeck

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

So long as the mother, ignorance, lives, it is not safe for science, the offspring, to divulge the hidden cause of things. - Johannes Kepler

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. - Maya Angelou

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

Love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark ... to have been loved so deeply ... will give us some protection forever. - J K Rowling

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt


Wedding Dress For Sale

Items Of Value

Redneck Fence

Snake Wrap Dress

Lakescape

Hippo Racing

Hurricane Irene

Luxury Bungalows

Day At The Beach

Something Fishy

Eavestrough Cat

Bomb Squad Notice

Church Sign Messages

Aussie Car Alarm

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Benched Puppies

Redneck Spatula

If Men Did Housework

Bag Hang-Up

Tired Truck

Looking Small

Extreme Skateboarding

Blues Brothers Pancakes

Lean Two Transportation