#1 humor site on the 'net

Melon Dragon

How to recycle watermelon rinds

Melon Dragon thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Watermelon art for the Year of the Dragon

Melon Dragon thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Always speak politely to an enraged Dragon. - Steven Brust

You haven't been bit till a dragon does it. - Tamora Pierce

But yes. Come, faulty dragon people. Follow us. - Rick Riordan

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes. - Henry David Thoreau

Motivation is when your dreams put on work clothes. - Milton Berle

I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls. - Bible

Next time you give your clothes away, stay in them. - Henny Youngman

When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat. - Mark Twain

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

Don't let the seeds stop you from enjoying the watermelon. - Unknown

When the prison doors are opened, the real dragon will fly out. - Ho Chi Minh

The sage wears rough clothing and holds the jewel in his heart. - Lao-Tzu

I think being a dragon would be pretty awesome... you get to fly. - Josh Keaton

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on her with a pitchfork. - Jonathan Swift

It is ever so much easier to be good if your clothes are fashionable. - L.M. Montgomery

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. - Mark Twain

The most important thing about batting is getting the bat to hit the ball. - Michael Holding

Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. - Enrico Caruso

Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive. - Havelock Ellis

Confidence is like a dragon where, for every head cut off, two more heads grow back. - Criss Jami

Life is a slice of watermelon: never without seeds but sweet 'til the bitter end. - Unknown

Heroes take journeys, confront dragons, and discover the treasure of their true selves. - Carol Pearson

I'm not so much a dragon slayer, more a dragon annoyer - I'm a dragon irritater. - Craig Ferguson

I'm kind of honored to be a dragon lady. The dragon is a very powerful, mythical animal. - Yoko Ono

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say 'when'. - P G Wodehouse

I always wanted to ride a dragon myself, so I decided to do this for a year in my imagination. - Cornelia Funke

The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back. - Dale Carnegie

Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition. - Phyllis Diller

Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written. - Mark Twain

I was a huge bookworm as a kid, and you could usually find me reading something with a dragon on its cover. - Julie Kagawa

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months. - Phyllis Diller

Life is like a good watermelon, sweet and juicy... but you still have to pick out the seeds to enjoy every bit of it. - Unknown

It is the eye of other people that ruin us. If I were blind I would want, neither fine clothes, fine houses or fine furniture. - Benjamin Franklin

Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten. - Neil Gaiman

Mathematical rigor is like clothing: in its style it ought to suit the occasion, and it diminishes comfort and restrains freedom of movement if it is neither too loose or too tight. - G.F. Simmons

There was a young belle of old Natchez
Whose garments were always in patchez;
When comment arose on the state of her clothes,
She drawled, "When Ah itchez, Ah scratchez!" - Ogden Nash

Puff, the Magic Dragon, lived by the sea, and frolicked in the Autumn Mist in a land called Honah Lee, little Jacky Paper loved that rascal Puff, and gave him strings and sealing wax and other fancy stuff. - Peter Yarrow


Animal Taxi

Lego Key Holder

Mechanic Apprentice

Redneck Helicopter

Hairy Egg

Fork Door Handle

Making Hockey More Popular

Suitcase WorkPlace

One-Knight Stands

Stealth Cell Phone Tower

Holes of the World

Sunken Bed

Australian Wildfire Survivor

Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes