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Maid Confusion

Clearing up who does the housework

Maid Confusion thanks to Mike King

A relationship 'not maid' for him

QuotaBills
Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

A weeping man and a smiling woman are not to be trusted. - Indian Proverb

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. - Arnold Haultain

I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed. - Henny Youngman

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde

I love men, not because they are men, but because they are not women. - Queen Christina of Sweden

Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating. - Oscar Wilde

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

A woman's best love letters are always written to the man she is betraying. - Lawrence Durrell

A woman will flirt with anybody in the world as long as other people are looking on. - Oscar Wilde

The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old. - Groucho Marx

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is usually plain. - Oscar Wilde

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, which doesn't say much for you. - Groucho Marx

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be made at me for saying that. - Mitch Hedberg

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious. - Oscar Wilde

After all, inside every woman, no matter how grown up she is, there is still a frightened little girl. - Sergei Lukyanenko

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

A woman, especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can. - Jane Austen

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

If all the young ladies who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised. - Dorothy Parker

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. - Clare Boothe Luce

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

Our duty, as men and women, is to proceed as if limits to our ability did not exist. We are collaborators in creation. - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. - George Jean Nathan

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

Tolerance is the worst roar of all, including tolerance for homosexuals, feminists, and religions that don't follow Christ. - Josh McDowell

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. - Steven Wright

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright


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