#1 humor site on the 'net

Lucky Cars

Parking in the right spot at the right time

Lucky Cars thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

When good things come in threes

QuotaBills
Luck is loaned, not owned. - Norway

It's bad luck to be superstitious. - Andrew W. Mathis

The best luck of all is the luck you make yourself. - Douglas MacArthur

Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity. - Oprah Winfrey

The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work. - Harry Golden

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. - Seneca

Most of life is choices, and the rest is pure dumb luck. - Marian Erickson

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky? - Stanislaw J. Lec

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place... a man is lucky to get out of it alive. - WC Fields

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. - Bill Vaughan

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind. Listen to the birds. And don't hate nobody. - Eubie Blake

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Physics is about questioning, studying, probing nature. You probe, and, if you're lucky, you get strange clues. - Lene Hau

That's the kind of luck poor Mr. Lincoln had the night he went to the movies, and he sat in John Wilkes' booth. - Archie Bunker

For a long time now I have tried simply to write the best I can. Sometimes I have good luck and write better than I can. - Ernest Hemingway

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

What do you do with all your pennies? I give them away. It's good to spread your luck around and it always come back to you. - Fannie Flagg

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash


Alien Smuggling

The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character

Teamwork

Sorry

Dunking Straw

Vatican Chess

Boot Camp

Hold On, Let Me Catch The Ball

Big Hands Baby

Fire Truck Sinkhole

Cyclist Mailbox

Tearable Puns

Penmanship

Tree Removal

I Sea Drums

Statue of Libertea

Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner Burrito

Cow Photobomb

Commas Save Lives

Never Give Up

Girl Sitting or Boy Hugging?

The Domino's Effect

Outdoor Pool

Wedding Pound Cake