#1 humor site on the 'net

Keyboard Steps

How Mozart would have made a home alarm system

Keyboard Steps thanks to Keith Blake

Where you have to play in the right key to enter

QuotaBills
Jazz is democracy in music. - Wynton Marsalis

I'm Liberace without a piano. - Paul Lynde

He has Van Gogh's ear for music. - Billy Wilder

Music is the soundtrack of your life. - Dick Clark

Dancing with her was like moving a piano. - Ring Lardner

Music is spiritual. The music business is not. - Van Morrison

You can't touch music, but music can touch you. - Mordecai

My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong

My music is best understood by children and animals. - Igor Stravinsky

Music isn't for the eyes - it's for the ears. - Adele

Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end. - Igor Stravinsky

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture. - Elvis Costello

Of all noises, I think music is the least disagreeable. - Samuel Johnson

Dancing can reveal all the mystery that music conceals. - Charles Baudelaire

Yoga is almost like music in a way; there's no end to it. - Sting

The symphony must be like the world. It must embrace everything. - Gustav Mahler

Life is a rich strain of music, suggesting a realm too fair to be. - George William Curtis

If in the afterlife there is not music, we will have to import it. - Domenico Cieri Estrada

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune. - Kin Hubbard

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

You can run out of garlic, but you can't really run out of music. - Jace Wayland

Music is the divine way to tell beautiful, poetic things to the heart. - Pablo Casals

The Blues and jazz will live forever, so will the Delta and the Big Easy. - Jack Nicholson

The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer. - Victor Borge

All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff. - Frank Zappa

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

Each soul is tuned to a different pitch. Music is about harmonizing the soul. - Wu-Tang Clan

Music, the greatest good that mortals know and all of heaven we have hear below. - Joseph Addison

The trouble with dancing naked is that not everything stops when the music does. - Unknown

Life is like playing violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on. - Samuel Butler

I think my music is like anchovies - some people like it, some people get nauseous. - Barry Manilow

It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf. - Walter Lippmann

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. - Ani DiFranco

Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. - Plato

A hundred years from now, people will listen to the music of the Beatles the same way we listen to Mozart. - Paul McCartney

What sounds to you like a big load of trashy noise... is in fact... the brilliant music of a genius... myself. - Iggy Pop

It is not enough to take steps which may some day lead to a goal; each step must be itself a goal and a step likewise. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

I love power. But it is as an artist that I love it. I love it as a musician loves his violin, to draw out its sounds and chords and harmonies. - Napoleon Bonaparte


Ferrous Wheel

Detroit Counterfeit Bill

Model T Winter

Gluten-Free Diet

Wine Time Finally

Biggest Turkeys

Geezer Crossing

How to Twerk at Work

Scooter Hearse

Fast Type

Aussie Porsche

Redneck Plane Repair

Wine Time

Smart Fortune Cookie

Menopause Sucks

Baguetti

We Are All Tied Together

Shopping-ish

Going For A Walk

Fell Years Ago

No Pot Of Gold

Krispy Kreme Waffles

Organic Pears

Hungry For Justice