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Inspiring Funeral Home

Perhaps they're overpromising this...

Inspiring Funeral Home thanks to Keith Blake

Planning for a premature future

QuotaBills
Nobody ever died of laughter. - Max Beerbohm

I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu

Biography lends to death a new terror. - Oscar Wilde

My grandmother made dying her life's work. - Hugh Leonard

To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die. - Clyde Campbell

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Life and joy and beauty are better than dusty death. - Bertrand Russell

Death - the last sleep? No, it is the final awakening. - Walter Scott

Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens. - JRR Tolkien

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. - Joe Louis

You haven't lived until you've died in California. - Mort Sahl

Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely. - Gautama Siddharta

Every man knows he will die but no one wants to believe it. - Yiddish Proverb

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. - Joseph Stalin

After your death, you will be what you were before your birth. - Arthur Schopenhauer

He is terribly afraid of dying because he hasn’t yet lived. - Franz Kafka

In peace sons bury their fathers, but in war fathers bury their sons. - Croesus

Old statisticians never die, they are just broken down by age and sex. - Unknown

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H L Mencken

What is called a reason for living is also an excellent reason for dying. - Albert Camus

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn. - Fulton J. Sheen

The idea of dying and coming back is what makes the Halloween films work. - Donald Pleasence

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mahatma Gandhi

Was Uncle Oscar's death very untimely, you ask? Well, it was near lunch. - Archie Bunker

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

We have to live our lives as if we are dying of a fatal disease. Because we are. - Phineas Narco

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Use your imagination not to scare yourself to death but to inspire yourself to life. - Adele Brookman

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done easily lying down. - Woody Allen

Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. - Yoda

Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin - it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring. - S.J. Perelman

Half the people in Hollywood are dying to be discovered and the other half are afraid they will be. - Lionel Barrymore

Just have one more try - it's dead easy to die. It's the keeping-on-living that's hard. - Robert W. Service

Being President is a lot like running a cemetery. You've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening. - Bill Clinton

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die. - Bill Watterson

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. - Steven Wright

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan


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