#1 humor site on the 'net

Grandma Protection

The best security when making an ATM withdrawal

Grandma Protection thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Proteccting your financial assets

QuotaBills
I cried all the way to the bank. - Liberace

Stick it all right into that bank suppository. - Archie Bunker

After money in the bank, a grudge is the next best thing. - Anthony Trollope

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? - George Carlin

Dancing is like bank robbery - it takes split second timing. - Twyla Tharp

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

What's breaking into a bank compared with founding a bank? - Bertolt Brecht

Most of us spend out lives as if we have another one in the bank. - Ben Irwin

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Martin Luther King took us to the mountaintop; I want to take us to the bank. - Don King

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. - Phyllis Diller

Idealism, alas, does not protect one from ignorance, dogmatism, and foolishness. - Sidney Hook

A memorandum isn't written to inform the receiver, but to protect the writer. - Dean Acheson

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age. - Unknown

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. - Oscar Wilde

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. - Bob Hope

I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking", but I don't have that much time. - Steven Wright

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

Life is like a bank account. You must put something in it in order for you to take anything out. - Joe Segal

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease. - Michelle Malkin

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

I went to the bank and reviewed my savings. I found out I have all the money I'll ever need if I die tomorrow. - Henny Youngman

You really just want to know that somebody loves you for you. Sometimes you feel like an ATM machine with a wig on it. - Mariah Carey

Did you hear about the auto worker who was offered a position as president of a bank but couldn't afford the pay cut? - Unknown

I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner. - WC Fields

Enthusiasm is the best protection in any situation. Wholeheartedness is contagious. Give yourself if you wish to get others. - David Seabury

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

I've never believed in measuring one's worth by the size of his or her bank account. I prefer to look at distance traveled. - Dan Rather

Love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark ... to have been loved so deeply ... will give us some protection forever. - J K Rowling

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


Alien Smuggling

The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character

Teamwork

Sorry

Dunking Straw

Vatican Chess

Boot Camp

Hold On, Let Me Catch The Ball

Big Hands Baby

Fire Truck Sinkhole

Cyclist Mailbox

Tearable Puns

Penmanship

Tree Removal

I Sea Drums

Statue of Libertea

Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner Burrito

Cow Photobomb

Commas Save Lives

Never Give Up

Girl Sitting or Boy Hugging?

The Domino's Effect

Outdoor Pool

Wedding Pound Cake