#1 humor site on the 'net

Goose Doors

For those who want to get goosed...

Goose Doors thanks to Keith Blake

Animal safety at work

QuotaBills
When one door shuts, a hundred open. - Spanish Proverb

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. - Milton Berle

Confidence is the hinge on the door to success. - Mary O'Hare Dumas

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. - English Proverb

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open. - Steven Wright

Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot. - Clarence Thomas

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. - Flora Whittemore

When the prison doors are opened, the real dragon will fly out. - Ho Chi Minh

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door. - Paul Beatty

It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb

Love unlocks doors and opens windows that weren't even there before. - Mignon McLaughlin

He who is outside his door has the hardest part of his journey behind him. - Flemish Proverb

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. - John Barrymore

Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. - Coco Chanel

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Unknown

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting the quill back in the goose. - Fred Allen

Temptation usually comes in through a door that has been deliberately left open. - Arnold Glasgow

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

The door that nobody else will go in at seems always to swing open widely for me. - Clara Barton

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Imagination, of course, can open any door - turn the key and let terror walk right in. - Truman Capote

A true friend is the one that's coming in the door while everyone else is going out. - Dr. Phil McGraw

You know that I'm at death's door. But the trouble is that I'm afraid to knock. - W Somerset Maugham

If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is: infinite. - William Blake

You can tell a man isn't handy when he asks the man next door how to get blood off a saw. - Milton Berle

At the door of life, by the gate of breath, there are worse things waiting for men than death. - A.C. Swinburne The Triumph Of Time

I love Valentine's Day! I love it, I love it, I love it. I like having doors opened for me. - Ginnifer Goodwin

Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window - or break down a door. - Brooke Shields

You can spend your precious energy beating down closed doors, or you can choose the doors that open when you knock. - Unknown

May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

The truth knocks on the door and you say, "Go away, I'm looking for the truth," and so it goes away. Puzzling. - Robert M Pirsig

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life. - Groucho Marx

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. - Helen Keller


Ink Birds

Ponge Bob

Bright Bookshelf

Let That Sink In

Lifting Heavy Objects

Black Friday Scam

Camel Photobomb

Leaky Pipes

Teabucks

CreepEye

Open For Business

Face Frost

Sleeping Guests

Garmin Drive

This Rocks

The Fall Of Adam

Canadian Archaeology

Unknown Assailant

Undergarment Financing

Shear Dog

Facebook Africa

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Tomato Treat

Evaluating Something