#1 humor site on the 'net

'Eat All You Want' Cafe

Choosing between a Diet Buffet and a Diet Smorgasbord

'Eat All You Want' Cafe thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Our food contains no calories until you eat it

QuotaBills
Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

Love is, or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. - Toni Morrison

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Healthy citizens are the greatest asset any country can have. - Winston Churchill

I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money. - Marlon Brando

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60. - Jack Nicholson

Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? - Washington Irving

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

The shovels haven't arrived, and until they do, you'll have to lean on each other. - Unknown

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Art is made to disturb. Science reassures. There is only one valuable thin in art: the thing you cannot explain. - Georges Braque

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

Desire is the key to motivation. It is the key to develop a healthy personality and a positive attitude towards oneself and others. - Amit Abraham

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright


Plastered Wall Plasterer

Waffle Board

Stairway Repair

Cowboy Bubble Bath

Trunk Load

Centennial Puff

Don't Be A Stick In The Mud

Redneck Hitch Attachment

Texas Rims

Window Fall Repair

Louvre Paintings

Parking Spot For Women

Generations Past And Present

Jumping The Gun

New Speed Trap

Window Cleaning in New York

Welcome Beer Mat

Mr. Dressup II

Puppy Special

Breast Cancer Cure

Who Needs Physics?

Bach Scratching

OCD Cookie Jar

Dwarf Plane Pull