#1 humor site on the 'net

Crocodile Floor

First one to cross the room wins!

Crocodile Floor thanks to Keith Blake

Walking into a feeding frenzy in the house

QuotaBills
Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

If that's art, I'm a Hottentot! - Harry S Truman

One does not marry art. One ravishes it. - Edgar Degas

Any idealism is a proper subject for art. - Lafcadio Hearn

What is this, an audience or an oil painting? - Milton Berle

I teach the art of turning anguish into delight. - Georges Bataille

Making sushi is an art, and experience is everything. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Art is making something out of nothing and selling it. - Frank Zappa

The art of government is the organization of idolatry. - George Bernard Shaw

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

The essence of all art is to have pleasure in giving pleasure. - Dale Carnegie

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. - Sun Tzu

The new job of art is to sit on the wall and get more expensive. - Robert Hughes

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor. - Ogden Nash

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. - Dean Martin

Tact is the art of convincing people that they know more than you do. - Raymond Mortimer

The bodies in my floor all trusted someone. Now I walk on them to tea. - Victoria Schwab

A painting is never finished — it simply stops in interesting places. - Paul Gardner

The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron

We have art so that we do not die of reality. Reality is too much with us. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

You use a glass mirror to see your face; you use works of art to see your soul. - George Bernard Shaw

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

Propaganda is the art of persuading others of what you don't believe yourself. - Abba Eban

The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than in growing with them. - Bernard M Baruch

It is only an auctioneer who can equally and impartially admire all schools of art. - Oscar Wilde

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. - Scott Adams

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge. - Albert Einstein

Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better. - Andre Gide

Leadership: The art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it. - Dwight D Eisenhower

You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot. - Phyllis Diller

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen

I feel strongly that the visual arts are of vast importance. Of course I could be prejudiced. I am a visual art. - Kermit The Frog

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles


Ink Birds

Ponge Bob

Bright Bookshelf

Let That Sink In

Lifting Heavy Objects

Black Friday Scam

Camel Photobomb

Leaky Pipes

Teabucks

CreepEye

Open For Business

Face Frost

Sleeping Guests

Garmin Drive

This Rocks

The Fall Of Adam

Canadian Archaeology

Unknown Assailant

Undergarment Financing

Shear Dog

Facebook Africa

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Tomato Treat

Evaluating Something