#1 humor site on the 'net

Cold One

Together on the prairies with a cold brewskie

Cold One thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Revenge is a dish best served cold. - Italian Proverb

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

The New Year begins in a snow-storm of white vows. - George William Curtis

Was the ground cold when you crawled out this morning? - Henny Youngman

What good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness? - John Steinbeck

We are cold to others only when we are dull in ourselves. - William Hazlitt

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain. - Mark Twain

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Sadness is more or less like a head cold - with patience, it passes. - Barbara Kingsolver

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. - Charles Dudley Warner

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations - it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir. - Stuart Keate

Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard

Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward. - Brandon Sanderson

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster


This Rocks

Lifting Heavy Objects

Tomato Treat

Wrong Planet

Evaluating Something

Student Driver

Cat Milk

Guitar Pool

Facebook Africa

UniCorn

Less Is More

Taking The Bait

Puppy Circle

Prehistoric Flash Drive

Hair Weavers

Chemical Solutions

Stealth Snake

Coffee Morning

WrenchWare

Pushing The Envelope

Social Media Explained

Pumping Services

Turn Into Lanes

Bull Squirrel