#1 humor site on the 'net

Cold One

Together on the prairies with a cold brewskie

Cold One thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

Was the ground cold when you crawled out this morning? - Henny Youngman

We are cold to others only when we are dull in ourselves. - William Hazlitt

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain. - Mark Twain

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

Sadness is more or less like a head cold - with patience, it passes. - Barbara Kingsolver

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Let's get an extended weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent, reddish brown rodent. - Unknown

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations - it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir. - Stuart Keate

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward. - Brandon Sanderson

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - the Joe-kster


Grass Room

Row Your Goat

Moment Just Before Being Soaked... @ T - 1

Bridge Claimed Another One

Woman-Riding Man

Thin Polar Bear

Hand Tool

Rainbow Beer

They Found Your Balls

Giraffe Pet

Hard Working Cop

Cattle Herding in Africa

Dutch Cowboy

How Bachelors Kill Moths

Tonsil Ring

Portrait Gallery

Piano Dog

The Art Of Politics

Martini Shirt

American Mustache

Wedding Room Dress

Redneck TP

Big Bird Feeder

City Work Crew's Slow Day