#1 humor site on the 'net

Clint Eastwood

Celebrity profiles - from both sides

Clint Eastwood thanks to Howard Chapman

Doing a re-take in the Wild West

QuotaBills
The vertizontal hold on the TV. - Archie Bunker

A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson

It's the hottest thing on television. - Donald Trump

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

Television has raised writing to a new low. - Samuel Goldwyn

Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me! - Homer Simpson

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

Nothing is really real unless it happens on television. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Sex on television can't hurt you - unless you fall off. - Unknown

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

TV is simply a place where people go when they get tired of thinking. - Kevin Devitte

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

I think Les Moonves is the most highly overrated person in television. - Donald Trump

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. - Jerry Seinfeld

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. - Dave Barry

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

So long as there's a jingle in your head, television isn't free. - Jason Love

Getting an award from TV is like being kissed by someone with bad breath. - Mason Williams

Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away. - Carol Burnett

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

A celebrity is a person known to many people he is glad he doesn't know. - H L Mencken

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other. - Ann Landers

Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight? - Al Boliska

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2. - David Coleman

I wanted this to be a movie on TV so I could press the off button and make it all go away. - Michelle Rowen

So many people are on television that don't know me, and they're like experts on me. - Donald Trump

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault. - Henry Kissinger

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. - Milton Berle

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. - Steven Wright


Hard Working Cop

Cattle Herding in Africa

Dutch Cowboy

How Bachelors Kill Moths

Tonsil Ring

Portrait Gallery

Piano Dog

The Art Of Politics

Martini Shirt

American Mustache

Wedding Room Dress

Redneck TP

Big Bird Feeder

City Work Crew's Slow Day

Cow Trampoline

Suspicious Blood Donor

Friends In High Places

Hair Cut Toupee

Finger Physio

Texas Steak

Triathlete with a Drinking Problem

Awning Truck Advertising

Racial Profiling Starts Early

Your Move