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Chu Your Food Well

Dentist invitation for well-used dentures

Chu Your Food Well thanks to Karen Moore

Aptonym du Jour

QuotaBills
An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

It is often a sign of wit not to show it, and not to see that others want it. - Suzanne Necker

I got something important here to read and sign and I gotta consecrate on that. - Archie Bunker

We have bitten off more than we can chew, but we'll chew as fast as we can. - Ian Holloway

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. - Herb Caen

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? - Laurence J. Peter

Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
is dental. - Ogden Nash

I got all the schooling any actress needs. That is, I learned to write well enough to sign contracts. - Hermione Gingold

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

I don't get off on romantic parts. But I often think if I had had my dental work done early on, well, maybe. - Morgan Freeman

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty

No sign of pleasure greeted the announcement. The mood in the hall was leaden.
My mood was livelier. Fright is livelier than lead. - Gail Carson Levine

A man’s life is interesting primarily when he has failed – I well know. For it’s a sign that he tried to surpass himself. - Georges Clemenceau

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz


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