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Birth Control At Its Finest

Preventing back seat accidents

Birth Control At Its Finest thanks to Keith Blake

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Laughter is the best medicine. - the Joe-kster

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

After your death, you will be what you were before your birth. - Arthur Schopenhauer

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. - Richard Lewis

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung


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Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

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Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers

Spaghetti Western

Under The Weather

Backpack Barney

My Sweet Potato

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My Next Life

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City Beach Castle

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