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Birth Control At Its Finest

Preventing back seat accidents

Birth Control At Its Finest thanks to Keith Blake

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Laughter is the best medicine. - the Joe-kster

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

After your death, you will be what you were before your birth. - Arthur Schopenhauer

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffet

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

The paradigm of treating menopause symptoms with the lowest effective dose of hormone therapy, for the shortest period necessary, is very sensible. - Hugh Taylor

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


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