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Tonsil Ring

Ring around the Uvula

Tonsil Ring thanks to Mike King

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A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

I could not get the ring without the finger. - Thomas Middleton

The deeper the sorrow, the less tongue it has. - Talmud

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

I was deaf and dumb and blind to all but me, myself and I. - Loretta Young

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been'. - John Greenleaf Whittier

He that respects himself is safe from others, he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust. - Josh Billings

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

He is not an honest man who has burned his tongue and does not tell the company that the soup is hot. - Yugoslav Proverb

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

I formed a new group called Alcoholics-Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you. - Richard Harris

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


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