#1 humor site on the 'net

Texas Cow Cleaner

Bubba provides mooving hairstyles for his cattle

Texas Cow Cleaner thanks to Keith Blake

Manicure for Daisy

QuotaBills
Keep a clean kitchen - dine out. - Unknown

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

Be strong in body, clean in mind, lofty in ideals. - James Naismith

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

A brand new vacuum cleaner with all the latest attractions - Archie Bunker

I can't clean house and save the world at the same time. - Unknown

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

The three words every woman really longs to hear: I'll clean up. - Molly Shannon

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo

I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. - Roseanne Barr

You don't get anything clean without getting something else dirty. - Cecil Baxter

In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty. - Imbesi's Law of Conservation of Filth

Let everyone sweep in front of his door and the whole world will be clean. - Mother Teresa

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford

Clean and nourish your mind every day. It can easily become a garbage bin. - Unknown

Rivers in the United States are so polluted that acid rain makes them cleaner. - Andrew Malcolm

The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean. - Erma Bombeck

I had the most boring office job in the world - I used to clean the windows on envelopes. - Rita Rudner

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? - Laurence J. Peter

The fantasy of every Australian man is to have two women - one cleaning and the other dusting. - Maurenn Murphy

I love eating sushi and eating raw and clean - no pasta and bread. Low carbs is what works for me. - Christine Teigen

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing? - Katherine Whitehorn

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. - George Burns

The nice thing about being detained in Canada is it's like being in a Days Inn; it's very clean and very nice. - Bill Ayers

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion... I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. - Kurt Vonnegut

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi

The darn trouble with cleaning the house is it gets dirty the next day anyway, so skip a week if you have to. The children are the most important thing. - Barbara Bush

There are two ways to wash the dishes. The first is to wash the dishes in order to have clean dishes, and the second is to wash the dishes in order to wash the dishes. - Thich Nhat Hanh

Few tasks are more like the torture of Sisyphus than housework, with its endless repetition: the clean becomes soiled, the soiled is made clean, over and over, day after day. - Simone de Beauvoir

I am thankful for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home. I am thankful for the piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby. - Nancie J. Carmody


Stereo Bike

Yoga in Palm Springs

Bartender Spill

Tetris Logger

Pigging Out in El Paso

Foot Care

Guitar Dog

Cutout Coin Silhouettes

Tree Tattoo

Alt-Ctrl-Del Pillows

Portable GPS

Australian Cyclist

Helicopter Cuts

Holland Bike Lane - For Pros Only

Twins' First Piano Lesson

Foosball for Girls

Youth Walk

Last Selfie

Broccoli Muffins

Get Along Shirt

Rooftop Steps

It's Not My Job

Mathematician's Truck

Redneck Baby Stroller