#1 humor site on the 'net

Scuba Diving Sucks

Up close whale shark pictures

Scuba Diving Sucks thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
The status quo sucks. - George Carlin

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Unknown

My clients are the whales and the seals. - Paul Watson

Ships are expendable; the whales are not. - Paul Watson

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

Why don't you take a high dive into the clam drip? - Archie Bunker

There is no eel so small but it hopes to become a whale. - German Proverb

This is the place to be - in the land of swimming pools. - David Hockney

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too? - George Carlin

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. - L.M. Boyd

They who dive in the sea of affliction, bring up rare pearls. - Charles H. Spurgeon

We've already hunted the gray whale into extinction twice. - Andrea Arnold

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you were to make little fishes talk, they would talk like whales. - Oliver Goldsmith

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

I write many essays on whales. I love whales, especially orcas. And dolphins. - Millie B. Brown

One of my goals in life is to have the biggest residential pool on the planet. - Drake

The problem is that Americans care more about saving whales than saving males. - Warren Farrell

It's only when the tide goes out that you learn who's been swimming naked. - Warren Buffet

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. - Unknown

It's the Olympics. If you can't get up to swim early in the morning, don't go. - Michael Phelps

Size isn't everything. The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine. - Bill Vaughan

I guess you would say I'd be like the Michael Phelps of swimming if he wasn't there. - Ryan Lochte

I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim. - Frida Kahlo

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

If I see something sagging, bagging, and dragging, I'm going to nip it, tuck it, and suck it. - Dolly Parton

Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah?
He used to live in whales for a while. - Groucho Marx

I would have brung you flowers too, but I read in a magazine that they suck up all the carbon monoxygen. - Archie Bunker

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

Happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool. - John M. Good

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

I've seen whales calving in the waters off Maui, and I've watched my children being born. But music is the most beautiful thing of all. - Steven Tyler

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


Pizza Air's Inaugural Delivery

Tomato IV

Mechanic's Work Table

Alzheimer's Wing

I Don't Have Mushroom

Texas Peace Sign

Letting Your Hair Down

Eagle Makeup

Everything Is OK

Knot Art

Zipper Scar Tattoo

Swiss Army Mega Tools

Law of Emotion

Eiffel Tower Modifications

Joyous Lawyers

Acupuncture Face

Star Wars Episode VIII

LiverPool

Digger Dog

You Guys Make Me Sick

Chu Your Food Well

Men's Wedding Photos

Wrench Dinosaur

Suddenly An Oven