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Scratch-Off Parking Tickets

Putting the fun back in traffic citations

Scratch-Off Parking Tickets thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
A winner never whines. - Paul Brown

Parking is such street sorrow. - Herb Caen

Winners train, losers complain. - Unknown

Winners never quit, quitters never win. - Vince Lombardi

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar. - Steven Wright

There'll be only one winner now - in every sense. - David Coleman

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

The only thing greater than a good loser is a humble winner. - Unknown

Winners are not those who never fail but those who never quit. - Zig Ziglar

Winners in life don't always win; they just don't give up. - Unknown

Life is a game show where the people who enjoy it are the winners. - Orson Bean

Winner: a runner who wins in spite of ninety nine excellent runners. - Sujit Lalwani

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. - Steven Wright

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. - Carl Sagan

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Losers visualize the penalties of failure. Winners visualize the rewards of success. - Unknown

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

Winners lose much more often than losers. So if you keep losing but you're still trying, keep it up! You're right on track. - Matthew Keith Groves

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


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