#1 humor site on the 'net

'Pick Your Nose' Cup

Personalized cups for nosey drinkers

'Pick Your Nose' Cup thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Often a noble face hides filthy ways. - Euripides

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m. - WC Fields

Be willing to access joy in the face of adversity. - C.W. Metcalf

Stand up and face your fears, or they will defeat you. - LL Cool J

Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face. - George Eliot

Keep your face to the sun and you will never see the shadows. - Helen Keller

The fingers of your thoughts are molding your face ceaselessly. - Charles Reznikoff

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Her face looked like something on the menu in a seafood restaurant. - Woody Allen

The problem is not to find the answer; it's to face the answer. - Terence McKenna

I don't have a drinking problem. Except when I can't get a drink. - Tom Waits

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. - Honore de Balzac

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - WC Fields

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's the day-to-day living that wears you out. - Anton Chekhov

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. - Nancy Astor

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz

I don't smoke dope, I don't drink bourbon. All I want to do is shake my turban. - Peter Singh

I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

My mother had this amazing attitude in the face of everything, including when she got cancer. - Bill Clinton

I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper. - Gary Cooper

If leeches ate peaches instead of my blood,
then I would be free to drink tea in the mud! - Emilie Autumn

Like a camel, I can go without a drink for seven days - and have on several horrible occasions. - Herb Caen

The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back. - Dale Carnegie

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

I tend to play mostly villains and twisted people. Unsavory guys. I think it's my face, the way I look. - Christopher Walken

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?' - Drew Carey

Don't laugh at a youth for his affectations; he is only trying on one face after another to find his own. - Logan P. Smith

I think that most people would rather face the light of a real enemy than the darkness of their imagined fears. - Max Brooks

I don't really drink sodas, but when I have popcorn or pizza I need a little. It's the perfect combination. - Alessandra Ambrosio

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

I find that it is not the circumstances in which we are placed, but the spirit in which we face them, that constitutes our comfort. - Elizabeth T. King

I can remember a reporter asking me for a quote, and I didn't know what a quote was. I thought it was some kind of a soft drink. - Joe DiMaggio

Life is like the dice that, falling, still show a different face. So life, though it remains the same, is always presenting different aspects. - Alexis


Taco Emergency

Stairway Roots

Meals On Wheels

Transmission Line Parallel Bars

Worst Aid

Mexican Recliners

Size Matters

Leadership Skills

Bottom Dweller

Gene Lifeguard

Portable Shower

Cut-Off Deadline

Kid Disposal

Racing a 'Hot Rod'

Why Elk Have Long Antlers

Biting Shoes

Romanian Auto Safety

New Player

Hoser

Garden Gnome

Hotel Waterfall

Security Guard

Real FootBall

Burger King Street