#1 humor site on the 'net

Photo Scratch

How not to improve your image

Photo Scratch thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Just when you think you've taken a great picture...

Have an itch to take a really good photograph?

QuotaBills
One picture is worth a thousand words. - Fred Barnard

Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise. - Alice Walker

Life is painting a picture, not doing a sum. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch. - Ogden Nash

One picture is worth more than a thousand words. - Chinese Proverb

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

I'd give that picture a Japanese Academy Reward! - Archie Bunker

An epic is the easiest kind of picture to make badly. - Charlton Heston

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach. - Steven Wright

The finest of pleasures are always the unexpected ones. - Erin Morgenstern

When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say? - George Carlin

It is easy to stand a pain, but difficult to stand an itch. - Chang Ch'ao

That picture with Lon Chaney - "Of Mouse And Men." - Archie Bunker

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

Collaborate with others who share you vision to see the bigger picture. - Richard Branson

A picture is worth a thousand words, but try saying that with a picture. - Unknown

Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille

A good book is like an unreachable itch. You just can't leave it alone. - Laura Bush

The best things in life are unexpected - because there were no expectations. - Eli Khamarov

My hometown is so dull that the drugstore sells picture postcards of other towns. - Milton Berle

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

If you look like your passport photo, then in all probability you need the journey. - Earl Wilson

I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield

It's great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise people. - Pamela Anderson

Like a bull into a china closet. Like in that picture, "The Prince and The Porpoise." - Archie Bunker

Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, "Wish you were here." - Steven Wright

A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me. - Chevy Chase

That the Pearl Harbor attack should have succeeded in achieving surprise seems a blessing from heaven. - Hideki Tojo

What a surprise to find you could shift the contents of your head like rearranging furniture in a room. - Lisa Alther

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. - George S Patton

I never hit a shot, not even in practice, without having a very sharp, in-focus picture of it in my head. - Jack Nicklaus

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

It is terrible to destroy a person's picture of himself in the interests of truth or some other abstraction. - Doris Lessing

I'm into all that sappy stuff - a surprise picnic, nice dinner, or traveling. I'm kind of an old romantic. - Will Estes

Any human anywhere will blossom in a hundred unexpected talents and capacities simply by being given the opportunity to do so. - Doris Lessing

Those who succeed have a clear, focused picture of their success. The level of success they attain matches the expansiveness of their dreams. - Marc Allen

Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. - Norman Vincent Peale

Pleasure to me is wonder - the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. - H.P. Lovecraft


Waffle Board

Stairway Repair

Cowboy Bubble Bath

Trunk Load

Centennial Puff

Don't Be A Stick In The Mud

Redneck Hitch Attachment

Texas Rims

Window Fall Repair

Louvre Paintings

Parking Spot For Women

Generations Past And Present

Jumping The Gun

New Speed Trap

Window Cleaning in New York

Welcome Beer Mat

Mr. Dressup II

Puppy Special

Breast Cancer Cure

Who Needs Physics?

Bach Scratching

OCD Cookie Jar

Dwarf Plane Pull

Fire Truck