#1 humor site on the 'net

One Size Fits All

Mini car with max head room

One Size Fits All thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit. - Johnnie Cochran

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

If society fits you comfortably enough, you call it freedom. - Robert Frost

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

Colors must fit together as pieces in a puzzle or cogs in a wheel. - Hans Hofmann

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

A good way I know to find happiness is to not bore a hole to fit the plug. - Josh Billings

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar. - Lao-Tzu

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

One cannot and must not try to erase the past merely because it does not fit the present. - Golda Meir

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

If you haven't found something you are willing to die for, you aren't fit to live. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you. - Lao-Tzu

Our ideas, like orange-plants, spread out in proportion to the size of the box which imprisons the roots. - Edward Bulwer Lytton

There is no comparison between that which is lost by not succeeding and that which is lost by not trying. - Francis Bacon

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

You cannot tailor-make the situations in life, but you can tailor-make the attitudes to fit those situations. - Zig Ziglar

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

I've never believed in measuring one's worth by the size of his or her bank account. I prefer to look at distance traveled. - Dan Rather

Basketball, a game which won’t be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus high and return the giraffes to the zoo. - Ogden Nash

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

William Hurt has a painful last name. Kevin Love has a name perfect for February 14th. But what about Johnny Longdong? Where does he fit? - Jarod Kintz

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


Ship Tow

Redneck Turkey Shoot

Costco Wine

Downer Parking

Baconurkey

Camel Herders of the 21st Century

Redneck Palm Pilot

Turkey Day Selfie

Spool Turkey

Meal Alert

Turkey Not

Thanksgiving Harvest Time

Turkey Wants You To Eat Pork

Going Cold Turkey

Bacon Turkey

Run, Turkey, Run

Biggest Turkeys

Turkish Architecture

Ghost Food

Turkey Weather Forecast

'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

Redneck Car Upgrade

Box Fill Overload

Hiding Horse