#1 humor site on the 'net

My Next Life

Why Woody Allen wants to live backwards

My Next Life thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis

Old age is a wonderful disguise. - Katherine Applegate

Cherish youth, but trust old age. - Pueblo Proverb

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. - Phyllis Diller

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana

Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings

Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison

I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward. - May Sarton

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman

More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. - Fred Astaire

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

My comfort is, that old age, that ill layer-up of beauty, can do no more spoil upon my face. - William Shakespeare

Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham

When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. - Victor Hugo

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age. - Thomas Bailey Aldrich

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed their hold you have escaped, not from one master, but from many. - Plato

Man is the only animal who enjoys the consolation of believing in a next life; all other animals enjoy the consolation of not worrying about it. - Robert Brault


Hye Spirits

Bat Shade

Party Frog

Designer Dog

Redneck Repair Kit

5th Beatle

Redneck Wine Rack

Domino Telephone Booths

Saudi Paddleboarders

Extreme Littering

British Hairways

With Or Without The Beatles

How To Improve Your Car's Radio Reception

Stop And Smell The Flowers

Night Watch

Leg Works

Laws Of Physics For Goats

Saskatchewan Roads

Join Me For A Swim

The Netherlands Canadian Tulip

Good To The Last Drop

Why Bearded Men Never Shave

Keep Right

Check Coffee Level