#1 humor site on the 'net

Math Watch

Looking for a Mensa student gift?

Math Watch thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Come to the nerd side. We have Pi. - Unknown

Genuine 100% chromonometer (a watch) - Archie Bunker

Now I'm gonna synchrosize the watch. - Archie Bunker

I'm sympathising my watch with yours. - Archie Bunker

The days of the digital watch are numbered. - Tom Stoppard

Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

I don't want to send them to jail. I want to send them to school. - Adlai Stevenson

The fine art of preparing sushi is something that you watch and learn. - Nobu Matsuhisa

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

Ya gotta watch out for that rigididness. It'll warf your personality. - Archie Bunker

Like the crest of a peacock, so is mathematics at the head of all knowledge. - Indian Proverb

Perhaps the most surprising thing about mathematics is that it is so surprising. - E.C. Titchmarsh

Film is one of the three universal languages, the other two: mathematics and music. - Frank Capra

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. - Woody Allen

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal

For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya

If everybody in the world dropped out of school, we would have a much more intelligent society. - Jaden Smith

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

There are people who make things happen, those who watch what happens, and those who wonder what happened. - Unknown

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

Do not attack me with your watch. A watch is always too fast or too slow. I cannot be dictated to by a watch. - Jane Austen

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor

The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything. - Robert Frost

I am like a pelican of the wilderness: I am like an owl of the desert. I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house-top. - Bible

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell

When you get older, you know that life's mysteries are revealed in the fullness of time. All you have to do is wait, watch, and be amazed. - Linda Gray

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen


Camel Walkers

Head Path

Whiskey Jig

Running Track

Body Bodice - Double OUCH!!!

DogWood

Feel-Good Story of the Year

Octostump

Poodle Power

Anyone Home?

Newfie Cab Driver - Can You Guess His Number?

Men In Kilts

iPhone Sushi

2 At A Time

Redneck House Move

Circle Of Fear

Busy Train

Kia vs Nokia

Redneck Potter's Wheel

Child Disarma-meant

Grandma Needs Help

Friendly BBQ Reminder

Cell Phone Book

It's Play Time!