#1 humor site on the 'net

Lost Axle

Not having a very Axle-ent day?

Lost Axle thanks to Keith Blake

Fireman down!

QuotaBills
Add not fire to fire. - Greek proverb

Not all those who wander are lost. - JRR Tolkien

A friend in power is a friend lost. - Henry Adams

Love in its essence is spiritual fire. - Emanuel Swedenborg

I did not know myself, I lost my personality. - Gertrude Stein

When everything is lost, anything is possible. - Robert Inman

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

If you learn from defeat, you haven't really lost. - Zig Ziglar

If someone's lying, are their pants really on fire? - Jerry Seinfeld

Words are only painted fire; a book is the fire itself. - Mark Twain

Mmm. Lost a planet, Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing. - Yoda

A science which hesitates to forget its founders is lost. - Alfred North Whitehead

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes. - Abigail Van Buren

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

It is better to have loft and lost than to never have loft at all. - Groucho Marx

When you make weirdness into a puzzle to be solved, you make LOST. - Joseph Fink

Tis better to have loved and lost, Than never to have loved at all. - Alfred Tennyson

Every rupee of profit made by an Englishman is lost for ever to India. - Edmund Burke

Luke, I don't want to lose you to the Emperor the way I lost Vader. - Obi Wan Kenobi

Yesterday is ashes; tomorrow wood. Only today does the fire burn brightly. - Eskimo Proverb

I never stole a joke in my life. I just find them before they're lost. - Milton Berle

Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost. - Helen Keller

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

I am not so lost in lexicography as to forget that words are the daughters of earth. - Samuel Johnson

Vietnam was lost in the living rooms of America, not on the battlefields of Vietnam. - Marshall McLuhan

Humility is a strange thing. The minute you think you've got it, you've lost it. - Unknown

Whoever said, "It's not whether you win or lose that counts" probably lost. - Martina Navratilova

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. - Erma Bombeck

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? - Unknown

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

They who meet on an April night are forever lost in love, if there's moonlight all about and there's no moon above. - Fred Saidy

You don't have to say everything to be a light. Sometimes a fire built on a hill will bring interested people to your campfire. - Shannon L. Alder

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

Anytime I feel lost, I pull out a map and stare. I stare until I have reminded myself that life is a giant adventure, so much to do, to see. - Angelina Jolie

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin


Hye Spirits

Bat Shade

Party Frog

Designer Dog

Redneck Repair Kit

5th Beatle

Redneck Wine Rack

Domino Telephone Booths

Saudi Paddleboarders

Extreme Littering

British Hairways

With Or Without The Beatles

How To Improve Your Car's Radio Reception

Stop And Smell The Flowers

Night Watch

Leg Works

Laws Of Physics For Goats

Saskatchewan Roads

Join Me For A Swim

The Netherlands Canadian Tulip

Good To The Last Drop

Why Bearded Men Never Shave

Keep Right

Check Coffee Level