#1 humor site on the 'net

Jet Propelled Eagle

Soaring like an eagle with skid marks

Jet Propelled Eagle thanks to Jenn VanderGraaf

Birds of Spray

QuotaBills
Private jets cost a lot of money. - Donald Trump

I want to paint the way a bird sings. - Claude Monet

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

The freedom of birds is an insult to me. - Cormac McCarthy

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

Heavenly bodies are nests of invisible birds. - Dejan Stojanovic

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship. - William Blake

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings. - William Blake

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm gets eaten. - Norman Augustine

The bird is powered by its own life and by its motivation. - Abdul Kalam

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

If one cannot catch the bird of paradise, better take a wet hen. - Nikita Krushchev

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. - Steven Wright

Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. - Rabindranath Tagore

The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp. - John Berry

If the Eagle Scouts had some sort of Sith equivalent, Marcone was it. - Jim Butcher

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. - Steven Wright

The structure of a play is always the story of how the birds come home to roost. - Arthur Miller

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song. - Lou Holtz

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

You can't fly with the owls by night and expect to keep up with the eagles during the day. - Unknown

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

Just as the bird sings or the butterfly soars, because it is his natural characteristic, so the artist works. - Alma Gluck

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

You are Mr. Owl. I am Ms. Hummingbird. We may come from different species but as long as you're a bird, I'm a bird too. - Glad Munaiseche

If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan

The shaft of the arrow had been feathered with one of the eagle's own plumes. We often give our enemies the means of our destruction. - Aesop

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins


Stairway Chute

Walkway Not

Pirate Vacation

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Redneck Spaghetti

Wild Game Nutrition Guide

Alaska Gas

Definition Of A Good Friend

Redneck Car Repair

Self-Propelled Rocket

Pole Clock

Donut Holes

Insect Food Fight

Living At C Level

Little Johnny Bath

Emergency Stops Only

Portable Balance Beam

Fried Eggs - Military Style

Motorvation

Teenage Mutant Ninja Hay Bail

Driving Rain

Eddie Reward

Got Them All

Owlvis Presley