#1 humor site on the 'net

Grass Pinch

Budget cuts in Clothespin Park

Grass Pinch thanks to Keith Blake

Cholesterol in the country

QuotaBills
Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

I have always had the sea as my playground. - Alexander D. Oen

Have patience! In time, even grass becomes milk. - Charan Singh

Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life. - Charles M. Schulz

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

A people without history is like the wind on the buffalo grass. - Lakota Sioux Proverb

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

Some of my best friends are illusions. Been sustaining me for years. - Sheila Ballantyne

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. - Jay London

All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk. - Will Rogers

Your body is not a temple, it's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride. - Anthony Bourdain

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

Being an actor on a movie set is like going to the playground at recess. - Melissa Leo

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life. - Cher

Ever hear of the old saying, "grass don't grow on a busy street?" - Archie Bunker

The grass withers, the flower fades
But the word of our God stands forever. - Isaiah 40:8

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. - Steven Wright

Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers, 'Grow, grow.' - Talmud

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

The true object of all human life is play. Earth is a task garden; heaven is a playground. - G K Chesterton

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

Dreams or illusions, call them what you will, they lift us from the commonplace of life to better things. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

In neighborhoods without a usable park or playground, the incidence of childhood obesity increases by 29 percent. - Darell Hammond

Tarry a moment to watch the chaos of a playground, crayola-colored shirts of running children, all trying out their wings. - Dr. SunWolf

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

The evolution of playground equipment has been to this ever safer, less challenging, less interesting assemblies of equipment. - Gever Tulley

We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die. - W H Auden

If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright

In New York, everybody looks great and is well dressed, but seeing someone in Ohio wearing Marc Jacobs is like spotting an owl in Central Park. Rare. - Isabel Gillies


Running Track

Body Bodice - Double OUCH!!!

DogWood

Feel-Good Story of the Year

Octostump

Poodle Power

Anyone Home?

Newfie Cab Driver - Can You Guess His Number?

Men In Kilts

iPhone Sushi

2 At A Time

Redneck House Move

Circle Of Fear

Busy Train

Kia vs Nokia

Redneck Potter's Wheel

Child Disarma-meant

Grandma Needs Help

Friendly BBQ Reminder

Cell Phone Book

It's Play Time!

Accurate Pie Chart

Chewing Gum Hazard

Paradise Reclaimed